January has a certain reputation.It arrives full of promise, optimism, and the strong belief that this will be the year we finally sort ourselves out. We set ambitious goals, vow to be calmer and more productive, and decide that 2026 is the year we become a better version of ourselves.

By mid-January, many people are already tired, overwhelmed, and wondering how self-care became another thing they’re “not doing properly”.

At Feel Well Therapy, we believe self-care should support your wellbeing — not add pressure. So this year, let’s approach it differently. 
Traditional New Year goals often assume unlimited time, energy, and motivation — none of which most people actually have.
Instead of asking “How can I improve myself?”, a more helpful question is:
“What would help me feel more balanced, supported, or steady?”

Effective goals tend to be:

Examples might include:
Creating space to properly switch off
Building one habit that helps regulate stress
Practising saying no — or at least not immediately saying yes

If a goal increases pressure or self-criticism, it may not be the right goal.

Self-Care Can (and Should) Include Enjoyment. Somehow, self-care has developed a reputation for being serious and slightly joyless.While mindfulness, exercise, and healthy routines are important, self-care can also include,laughter,Play, Creativity, and doing something simply because you enjoy doing it.

Enjoying yourself isn't indulgent — Its essential , it helps to regulate us, calm our nervous system and improve our emotional resilience and ability to deal with life stresses and after all , WHAT SORT OF LIFE DO WE HAVE IF WE HAVE NO JOY IN IT! 

But allowing ourselves to experience enjoyment, is not always easy ! Many people struggle to put themselves first, and prioritise their self care needs particularly those who are used to caring for others, solving problems, or staying “strong”.

Prioritising yourself can bring up guilt, discomfort, or the worry that you’re being selfish, which for some, can be linked to deep rooted experiences in childhood that can feel impossible to change. 

As a therapist for 30 years, i understand a individuals challenges but also know that individuals can change !  Yes it's more challenging for some and some people's lives have more obstacles but we can all learn the skills to be compassionate to ourselves and improve our self care and enjoyment in life. 

When you think that self care is being too indulgent and something you haven't got time for then a healthy reframe is : Looking after yourself is not self-centred/ self indulgent  — it’s maintenance.

You might start by:
Treating personal time as a genuine commitment
Pausing before agreeing to things
Noticing where you’re running on empty
You don’t need to earn rest. You need it.
Making Time for Reflection (No Perfection Required). Reflection doesn’t need to be intense, emotional, or beautifully structured.It can be simple, a quiet moment,a walk, a few honest questions

Try reflecting on:
What drained me in 2025?
What supported my wellbeing?
What do I want less of this year?
What do I want more of emotionally?
Reflection isn’t about judging yourself — it’s about understanding what you need and the reality is that obstacles Are Part of the Process

Self-care rarely fails because someone “doesn’t try hard enough”.

It’s more often disrupted by:
Lack of time
Mental load
Fatigue
Perfectionism
Competing responsibilities

At Feel Well Therapy, we encourage compassionate planning:
Set expectations that fit real life
Aim for consistency, not perfection
Expect setbacks and return gently
Missing a week doesn’t mean you’ve failed. Starting again is part of sustainable change.

A Kinder Promise for 2026
Rather than promising to:
Do more
Be better
Fix yourself

What if your intention for 2026 was:
“I will treat myself with more understanding and kindness.”

What does this look like for you ? What does it sound like ? how do you talk to yourself? What behaviours / actions are are you doing ?  

It might look like:
Asking for help earlier
Allowing yourself to rest
Letting go of unrealistic standards
Choosing progress over pressure

You don’t need to become someone new this year and...

You Don’t Have to Make Sense of It All Alone

Sometimes self-care isn’t about doing more — it’s about having space to make sense of your life, the stressors you’re carrying, and the patterns that may be keeping you stuck. Hopefully this article is pause for thought for all of us, and some of you might have already started to answer some of the questions . If not , maybe you might choose to come back to it later ? 

Some of us might benefit from space and time to think about this with a professional and If this is you then why not get in touch . In  January we often have clients that contact us with specific difficulties that they want to address some long standing but others that are seeking to manage stress better in their lives. At Feel Well Therapy our experienced therapists bring a wealth of expertise and skill to help you to achieve this and make 2026 a calmer, more manageable, and more fulfilling year.  
As clinical lead, please contact me via our website at 👉 www.feelwelltherapy.co.uk and I will be happy to answer any enquiries

Sending Best wishes, health and happiness to all WIBN members in 2026 and as a new member I hope to get to know many of you. 

Michelle