Jeans are always “in fashion” but with the ever changing trends, what is the best shape for your body type? From the classic flairs coming back to the catwalks, to the noughties skinnies, let’s take a look at some of the top jeans styles, and colours, and how to style them for your body shape.

Flared jeans

The best body types for flared jeans

The swinging 70’s are back and pear shapes rejoice! While flares made a small come back in the 90’s it seems they are back in full swing for us this year, and they’re great for those of us with larger hips. This is because they add a little extra volume lower down to balance out our hips. You may also love flares if you are petite, as you can hide your heels under the flare of the jean, elongating your legs!

How to style flared jeans

I prefer my jeans in a dark wash, as a pear shape myself, because they are great for adding a slimming effect. These high-rise jeans in a dark wash from Reiss are a beautiful cut and work perfectly from day to night. Try your flares with a pair of heels, your favourite blazer and a turtleneck for a powerful professional look. You can then swap the turtleneck for a graphic tee, and add a belt for definition for your evening look. For a more casual option, swap out your heels for your favourite platform trainers or sandals for the summer. 

Mom Jeans

The best body types for Mom jeans

Mom jeans continue to be a comfortable, casual option when it comes to jeans. With their wider leg, yet tapered waist, they are great for hourglass figures. As they tend to be loosely fitted on the legs they do work for more rectangular body types as well as pear shapes, when the cut is right. They do tend to stop just above the ankle, so unless you specifically invest in petite sizing, they don’t tend to be the best option for petite body shapes unless you’re happy to add some extra rolls to the ankle area.

How to style your Mom jeans

With their relaxed style, Mom jeans tend to look best in a casual look, but you can style them up with the right blouse or shirt. They have a high waist, with a loose fit, adding to the casual look while showing off the waist. Dive into this classic shape and find a pair of Mom jeans in a vintage denim colour.

You can then style them up with your favourite button down or blouse, and pop on a pair of strappy heels for a brunch date. You could also wear them for errands and grabbing coffee with a pair of trainers and your favourite cropped jumper or tee. Pop on a crossover body bag, with a leather jacket and your casual yet classic look is ready to rock. 

Boyfriend Jeans

The best body types for Boyfriend Jeans

Not to be confused with the Mom jean style, Boyfriend jeans are looser and tend to have a baggier area around the crotch. These are perfect for people with an inverted triangle shape – with smaller hips than shoulders, as well as oval and rectangle. Because of the baggier fit around the thighs, this will streamline your silhouette.

How to style your Boyfriend Jeans

Due to their casual and slouchy nature, these are a great style of jeans to wear out and about, rather than trying to dress them up. If you are an inverted triangle shape, style them with your favourite camisole or a tighter top to draw the eye to your waist. I’d highly recommend finding a pair of high-rise Boyfriend jeans for your body, as this will help create the waist in the perfect point. This higher waistline will also help with elongating your legs. Continue the elongation of your legs with a pair of wedges, or go all out for your date night with a clutch and a pair of nude stilettos.

If you are an oval or rectangular shape, lower rises are much more comfortable for you – and I’d recommend untucking your tops. This will help with the shape of your silhouette. 

Skinny Jeans

The best body types for Skinny Jeans

Skinny jeans – they became all the rage in the noughties and seem to have stayed. While skinny jeans are great for some body types, those who have larger hips need to be conscious of how skinny we go with them! They are great for building confidence and showing off your curves, and when styled correctly they can work for most body types. The thing to think about is how long they are, the wash, and the styling.

How to style your Skinny Jeans

Because the skinny jeans are so tight on the figure at the base of your body, the best outfit ideas for this is to balance it out with volume in your tops. Think tucking in your blouse into your jeans with a belt to add the waist definition. You could also wear an oversized blazer to feel a little more professional, with dark wash skinny jeans and a pair of heels. Balancing out the skinny jeans is where you will feel your best – but don’t let this stop you playing with the trendy skinny jean.

If you feel confident in this slinky silhouette – go for it!

Try out dark wash skinny jeans with a silky camisole top, drape a blazer over your shoulders and add an oversized clutch for your date night look. If you want to feel a little more rock chick, and balance out your look, you can wear these cropped vintage blue skinny jeans with your favourite combat boots, or with a pair of ankle boots to balance out the hips. 

Cropped Jeans

The best body types for Cropped Jeans

Cropped jeans are the last style on my list, and you may be surprised to hear that I love these for my petite ladies! While the flares help elongate you by hiding your heels, cropped jeans make it seem like your legs are “too long” for the jeans. It’s all about discovering the perfect length – and cropped jeans come in a lot of different options. As a general rule, look for cropped jeans that hit just above your ankle.

While I have mentioned they are great for petite frames, cropped jeans work well for all body shapes – it just depends on finding the right inseam length, and styling.

How to style Cropped Jeans

Cropped jeans are a chic option for your jeans outfit, and work beautifully from day to night. I think they look beautiful when paired as part of a monochrome look. Classically French-chic, the monochrome of all white can be perfect for your day in the office when paired with smart sneakers, and changing up your jewellery you can wear it to drinks after a long day. Pair your cropped white jeans with an elegant cotton top if you are an oval shape and pop on a layered necklace to bring some sparkle to your look.

For a super-casual yet cool look with your cropped jeans, look for a pair of high-rise boot cut options. As with any high-rise jean, pulling you in at the waist will help define your physique and add a more hourglass look. Match them with your favourite slogan tee and a pair of square toed shoes for a touch of elegance.

If you want to have a more relaxed feel, find a pair of cropped jeans with a distressed hem, pop on a pair of leather ankle boots or trainers, and go all out rock chick with your leather moto jacket, or baggy oversized blazer. 

While these are my personal stylist tips for discovering the perfect jeans for your body type, finding jeans that you love wear is the most important thing. I help people discover the right shapes for their body type, while also considering their personal style as a whole. While these are my tips for helping you create outfits that you’ll love to wear with your jeans, if you are looking for a personal stylist to help you discover a wardrobe you love, please get in touch. 

Is there anything more fundamental when it comes to speaking about your business (both in-person and via your marketing channels) than being able to summarise what you do in an easy and understandable way?

I don’t think so.

That is why it is so important to have a clear Value Statement (also known as a golden sentence, elevator pitch, or positioning statement) that tells the person listening (or reading) who you serve (your client niche) and how you make a difference to their lives, in one single sentence.

However, this is actually a pretty challenging thing to get right and, in my experience, is likely to be something that you never stop tweaking! You will find different variations on the format (for example, take a look at www.storybrand.com where Donald Miller puts more emphasis on highlighting the client’s problem first), but the one that I like to use is:

I help [insert ideal client/niche] to [insert benefit of your service] so that they can [insert inspirational outcome for the client].

Sounds simple, right?

That is until you realise that you need to have done the work to define your ideal client, the challenges they face (and the benefits of your service to them), and to understand ultimately what is most important to them.

So let’s break down the steps you need to work through in order to fill in the gaps…

Step One: Define Your Ideal Client and Niche

My advice? Niche and nice again! You really can’t be too specific when it comes to defining your ideal client and/or niche. Remember, this isn’t about turning away business from those who don’t fit the exact bill of your ideal client, it means making your marketing communications absolutely clear, so that your clients are able to easily identify themselves when you are talking about their problems and how YOU are best placed to help them.

Focus your attention on the psychographic of your niche (their main, challenges, roadblocks and fears – what keeps them awake at night?), rather than their demographic (really just a lot of statistics that won’t help you with your marketing). Try to see the world through your clients’ eyes and, if you’re struggling, take yourself back to the time when you were at the same stage and brainstorm how you felt at the time and the problems you encountered. If you would like some more help, you can download my free worksheet here: https://www.vickimessenger.com/how-to-define-your-ideal-client

Step Two: Bridge the Gap

Through your marketing messaging, in whatever form that might be, i.e. social media, blog posts, email newsletters, presentations, webinars, networking events etc., you need to help your prospective clients to identify where they are now and where they want to be, demonstrating through your content how you bridge the gap. You need to be able to talk about your clients’ struggles with ease and show them the way forwards through your bridge of services, knowledge and expertise.

You must be clear about the benefits of your service, rather than the features, whilst focussing on the value that your service will bring to their world. For example, will it ultimately help them save time and/or money? If so, you’re onto a winner!

Step Three: Provide an Inspirational Outcome

We love to feel inspired and that we’re part of something even bigger than ourselves, it’s motivating. So, help create a vision for your clients – what would be their ultimate outcome?

What’s it all for?

A better life? More time for adventure? Financial freedom so that they can do whatever they choose?

Give them hope. Make them believe that, by working with you, dreams really can come true. Have them think, “Yes!” when they engage with your content. Once you have taken the time to work through and brainstorm the three steps, you will then need to start to refine your ideas into your single Value Statement.

Approach this task with an open, playful mindset, and don’t get too frustrated with yourself!

My top tip?

Stay away from your industry jargon and try using your clients’ language instead. So, have fun and above all, enjoy the process! Want to work through your messaging, or perhaps get some feedback on your Value Statement?

Why not book in for a 30-minute FREE Taster Session with me at https://www.vickimessenger.com/contact-me and I will be pleased to work through it with you.

"Vicki Messenger helps empower aspiring and early-stage female founders to confidently create, launch and grow purpose-driven, soul-feeding, authentic businesses that work in harmony with their ideal lifestyles."

 You can find out more about Vicki’s services, along with more articles and heaps of complementary resources at www.vickimessenger.com

Have you grabbed your copy of my FREE e-book: “What I wish I knew…” – Pearls of Wisdom from 10 Incredible Women in Business yet? It’s packed full of insider secrets, outstanding advice, and pure gold insights that will help to inspire you on your business journey, whatever stage you are at.

Get yours here: www.vickimessenger.com/whatiwishiknew

And, why not join our growing community for women in business, The Collective, and find daily tips, tools, inspiration, and mindset matters, as well as weekly live trainings and quarterly guest interviews here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/thecollectiveforwomeninbusiness

Image credit Canva May 2022.

Spring outfit inspiration

Spring is such a beautiful time for inspiration for our wardrobes – out go the grey and dark days, and in come the beautiful colours of pinks, purples, greens and yellows.

If you are looking for what to wear this spring and how to add a touch of colour, then here are my personal styling tips for your spring wardrobe!

Adding colour with your shoes

One of the fun, effective, and most approachable ways to add colour to an outfit, in my opinion, is through the shoes! Why? 

Because you can choose to show just a flash of the shoe when you are wearing flares or longer jeans, or show off the full shoe when you wear skirts, cropped jeans, or dresses – which are a great outfit choice for the warmer days. With these shorter hemlines, you can truly bring out your colour personality, but without feeling like you have overdone it with the outfit.

From finding a pair of beautiful heels in a spring-perfect green or pink, to wearing a pair of sneakers in a bright orange or pattern you love, the world is your oyster when it comes to colourful shoes available.  

To truly show off your beautiful shoes, you may want to try out cropped trousers or jeans! 

What I love about cropped jeans is that they not only allow you to show off your favourite shoes, they are also an easy to wear item that still feels fashion-forward. If you prefer to wear trousers or want to try out the cropped look at work, you can find several styles of cropped trousers in a variety of colours. 

Why not go all out and bring in the springtime with a pair of cropped culottes in green (Spring 2022's top colour choice!) or even a pattern (best if your body shape is wider at the shoulders to bring definition to your leaner legs).  

Adding a colourful spring bag to your outfit

A colourful bag can be a great way to transform a more neutral look, as it isn’t taking up your full body, but brings just a spark of colour to the look.

When looking for a colourful bag, you'll want to make sure it is practical as well as beautiful. Consider what you will be using it for, which items you need to fit in the bag, and where you want to wear it (will it be an "every day", "work", "special occasions"?) this will help you find the perfect bag for you.

A few spring bags to add to your wardrobe are this gorgeous pink and orange small shoulder bag for just carrying your essentials; this Kurt Geiger rainbow shoulder bag; or this slightly larger crossover pink bag from Aldo. 

Colourful clothes for spring

We're now onto the big addition to your colour journey - the clothing!

When you want to bring those springtime feelings to your wardrobe using colour, you can truly transform your mood with the colours you bring to your outfit. 

If a full suit is perhaps a little too much, why not try a skirt? While I love dresses, and if you feel the same way, I'd recommend adding a spring dress to your wardrobe at this time of year, skirts are often overlooked! 

Spring/Summer 2022 runways saw the return of the mini skirt, and if you are ready to try out a trend that feels young, and fresh, then I'd highly recommend getting a mini skirt for this spring. Whether it's an asymmetrical orange skirt or a quirky colourful patterned a-lined skirt, now is a great season to try them out. They will help you embrace & get used to the shorter hemline as you can wear tights if you would feel more comfortable. 

If miniskirts just aren't your "thing" then a midi skirt matched with a tee or a blouse is also a fantastic option to add to your spring wardrobe. Try a multi-functional option in a colour block or even a pleated easy-to-wear option to throw on and upgrade your jeans and a tee style this spring.

Depending on your style, you can pair it with a pair of heels, platform trainers, or even combat boots - and you'll feel ready to take on the sunshine. 

Admittedly, it can seem daunting to create a fully monochromatic outfit with a bright colour, so take gentle steps if you're someone who is new to the colourful game. Tone down a suit with a neutral blouse underneath, add a neutral tee to your colourful skirt, or wear a colourful jacket over a neutral outfit below. 

Start by finding the colours of spring (greens, purples, pinks, oranges) and then make sure they are in your colour wheel, and then enjoy the springtime vibes!

If the changing of the seasons is a daunting time for you, and you’d love to welcome them with open arms, or an updated wardrobe that you can treat yourself to with confidence, I’d love to help. I provide a bespoke personal shopping experience to help you find the right pieces to add to your current wardrobe, or even a personal styling session so you can discover your personal style.

Are you a good listener? Do you feel heard?

Most of us are probably a mixture of being on the receiving end of poor listening and also at times the perpetrator.

I became very aware some time ago that I wasn't being heard, that people weren't listening to me. In fact, I started to write poems about it and it was those poems that reflected how distressing it can be when it seems that no one is willing to give you space and attention to explain something or to recount an event.

For example. It might be how you're feeling about something that happened or was said, or it might be as simple as how you like your egg to be boiled or when the thing you asked to be added to the shopping list just somehow got left off. It may not sound like much but when it happens frequently It can have quite an impact.

Waiting To Talk

I have a friend whom I have known for years. We recently had a conversation where I told her some long-awaited good news about my son. Instead of expressing interest she ‘topped’ my news by immediately recounting something about her son in great detail. Of course, she then went on to tell me every aspect of how her son had done it quicker and better, and, needless to say, we never got back to my son and his story.

That was not the first time.

This friend is a major culprit in the not listening stakes, and it makes me not want to tell her anything because she seems to not be interested; it’s as if everything is turned into a competition – my dad’s bigger than your dad kind of thing.

And what about ‘mansplaining’?

That is butting in and taking over. This is not exclusive to men, by the way! For an example that might be familiar, perhaps you have heard something on the news and started to tell someone about it. But, instead of listening to you, they take over the conversation by ‘man-splaining’ the same thing back to you in great detail.

You have to wait until they’ve finished before you can make your point or complete your sentence.

And how about ‘heated agreement’

Lengthy arguments where you are both saying the same thing but expressing it differently and neither of you is listening, so that sounds as if you are arguing different points of view. Once you get into those discussions it’s hard to stay calm. They’re unnecessary and exhausting! In my opinion, listening is an essential tool for all of us. In essence, effective listening is all about communicating successfully.

Relationship Breakdowns

Poor communication is responsible for many break-ups and misunderstandings, both in the world of business and in personal life.

In business, you want to be able to truly listen to your customers or clients, and I think it is fair to say that the happiest customers are those who feel they have been heard and understood by you and that you have then delivered what they wanted, when they wanted it and how they wanted it.

So, listening effectively can be a big factor in customer satisfaction as well as good relationships with the important people in your personal life.

What is it that stops us listening?

The list is long! It includes daydreaming, wanting to find solutions, and interrupting, to name just a few. We're not necessarily talking here about a good or a bad thing but are simply getting to understand how blocks get in the way of effective listening and, therefore, communication.

If you’d like to know more about how to listen effectively and get heard, please check out my website www.mindshiftcoaching.org, or email me on judy.hoskins@gmail.com.

Photo credit Canva April 2022

Show Up

I often talk to clients about how important it is to show up in photos. I tell Mums that they need to be in photos for their kids’ memories and female entrepreneurs to present themselves authentically to grow their businesses. As my business is mainly women based, I spend a lot of time allaying fears about appearance and self-consciousness about being photographed. As such, I’m passionate about helping women feel fantastic in photos. I think it is so hard to do when we bash ourselves so often and I have spent the last few years seeing if I could alter my own mindset around how I feel about my appearance.

My Story

A bit of background to how I arrived at this point…  Five and a half years ago, I had my son and was bombarded with messages about how to get my body ‘back’, all of which piled more stress on me at a time when I was already navigating massive life changes. Even before that, I felt endless pressure to have a ‘bikini body’, lose weight, bash on myself in public (because otherwise you don’t really fit into female conversations, right?!). And since becoming a parent, I’ve found a whole load of different pressures as I’ve started to go grey (I came late to that party as I only found my first grey at 36), have no inclination to use my precious ‘alone time’ for makeup or hair-straightening and surviving on less sleep than I thought possible!

Keeping Up With The...

I was increasingly coming to resent the media for giving me a laundry list of should's and should nots long before having a family, however. Always one for being a bit contrary, I find being told how I should think and feel usually makes me do the opposite! However, as hard as you try and make yourself immune to it, being bombarded with images of photoshopped perfection, thigh gaps and wrinkle-free faces, you can’t help but feel like you don’t measure up. And just in case the message hasn’t reached you yet…these women (and men) are all Photoshopped AF.

This assault from the media and subsequent ‘comparisonitis’ to an unrealistic ideal of beauty starts from a ridiculously young age without us having any control over it. By the time we’re self-aware enough to realise it and start questioning it, the damage is done. It’s then near impossible to make ourselves immune from subconsciously feeling like cr@p every time we pass a billboard or shiny magazine ad.

Why Photography?

All this led me to a challenge I started. I read a lot of studies about how the self-esteem of children grows when seeing their photos around the home. And I got to thinking, the same must, therefore, be true of adults? I realise the photos that most of us live with on our walls are the filtered version of our lives. It’s the special-occasion, make up & fancy clothes, ‘best’ version of ourselves that we frame. I’d guess you don’t have a photo of yourself in your PJs on your wall? 

So, that’s exactly what I did. I started putting up the very ordinary photos of my life. The photos of me in my PJs with my son, with no makeup. I won’t lie to you; it was hideous at first. I shuddered every time I walked past them. I ripped myself apart about how awful I looked. And I wrote a whole blog about how ghastly I look in photos but how I was trying to do better to exist in photos for my son.

Self-acceptance

Over time, though, a funny thing started to happen. I became gradually more comfortable with the way I looked. I accepted my everyday self. And then slowly I started looking at those photos and noticed all the other awesome things in them like how happy I look and how much I seem to be enjoying my life. I stopped noticing the superficial nonsense and began tearing myself apart less. When I look back on the whole year, I realise my inner monologue is also a little quieter and a lot kinder too. And for me (who is absolutely brutal to myself!) that is a massive step.

I ended my (very personal until that point!) challenge with stripping naked and posting a photo on social media! Talking to my friend she was shocked that I would to do such a thing. However, the feelings I had when posting the first blog post, fully clothed photo with make-up on, and the naked one with no makeup are poles apart. I’ve lost no weight, I’ve gained grey hair, look older - yet I’m happier in my body than I was a year previously. Isn’t life funny life that? I credit all that to the power of seeing myself in photos and getting used to how I actually look (the real me, not the special occasion me). When I was telling her about it, she started doing this slow nod and said, “that’s a good point. I have two photos in my hallway… one is my wedding day, the other is on holiday in my early 20s. I’m so slim and young in both. Every day I look at them and feel like cr@p that I’ll never look like that again”. 

So, I’d like to challenge you… 

Put up a photo of yourself. Don’t overthink it. Just pick a regular photo. Hang it on the fridge or the bathroom mirror. Say something nice to photo you every day, or at least get used to looking at the real you. Get used to your body just being the vessel you inhabit to enjoy your awesome life, rather than something else you feel you need to expend energy hating or insulting.  Remember that 10-year challenge that did the round on social media? In ten years, you’ll be looking back at 2022 you and thinking how thin/pretty/young/happy you look. Don’t wait for a decade to pass to find those feelings; embrace that gratitude for yourself now. If you struggle with that for yourself specifically, try thinking about gratitude for ageing in general, this is where I started. Many people don’t get the privilege of growing old and gaining grey hair or having enough to eat to gain a few extra pounds. 

Gradually you’ll start to accept yourself and then like yourself. Maybe you’ll even end up loving yourself. And all thanks to a little 6x4. Wouldn’t that be magical?

About Tori

Tori Deslauriers is a photographer obsessed with getting women back in the frame and helping them feel empowered in front of the camera. You can find me at www.torideslauriers.com photographing weddings, Supermums and amazing small businesses.